"A Little Help" Script

Gary: Go on, Petey! Go cry to the teacher. Tell them I was nasty to you.

Petey: Shut up, Gary, you're such a jerk, man.

Gary: Oh, am I Petey? Oh, you're so cunning. I'm really upset. Actually, I think I'm gonna go cry. Then I'd be just like you. Cry, little girl. Oh, look out. Here comes Jimmy.

Jimmy: Just knock it off, Gary. You're out of line.

Gary: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was hanging out in the Girls' Dorm. Silly me.

Jimmy: Shut up, man, you're boring.

Gary: Boring? I'm boring. You're non too interesting yourself, friend. [Sighs] Look, I'm sorry, both of you. I apologize, okay? I just get a little over-excited. Forgive me.

Jimmy: Forget it. It's cool.

Gary: Anyway, I got a good idea for some fun. Let's go out and torment someone really helpless and unfortunate. That homeless guy, haha... C'mon.
You comin', little Petey? C'mon, I'm sorry. I'll give you a kiss if that's what you want.

Pete: Shut up.

Gary: Then come on.

---

Gary: Where is this dirty old perv?

Pete: You know, you're not very nice, Gary.

Gary: And you're a loser, Petey. One of life's unfortunates.

Hobo: Get outta here, you little scum!

Gary: [Laughs] So I guess the rumors are true, Jimmy. Your Dad does live on campus.

Jimmy: You jerk!

Gary: Ow! Let's leave this guy to his welfare payments! C'mon, let's get outta here!

Hobo: Just get outta here, kid.

Jimmy: Why should I?

Hobo: Because otherwise I'll kill ya!

Jimmy: What's your problem?

Hobo: That's a long story. You got any liquor?

Jimmy: No. I'm fifteen.

Hobo: Well, what about drugs?

Jimmy: No!

Hobo: Then why shouldn't I kill you?

Jimmy: Alright then, tough-guy, kill me!

Hobo: [Laughs] You know what, kid? I like your style. You've got guts. When I was
on that ridge in Korea watching my buddies get killed by friendly-fire I coulda used somebody like you.

Jimmy: Yeah? Thanks.

Hobo: But I bet you can't fight. You do me a favor and I'll show you some real moves. Classified moves. Real special Army stuff.

Jimmy: Cool.

Hobo: Just get me a part for my radio and I'll show you what the Army taught me.

Jimmy: What, like how to get shot by your own side?

Hobo: Exactly.