"Help Gary" Script

Gary: There you are! Come on, I found something incredible.

Jimmy: Hold on. Relax, man, I can't keep getting in trouble. I can't get expelled again.

Gary: It's always about me with you. Me, me, me! I'm thinking bigger picture. And you're worrying about getting into trouble? You know what? You really are something.

Jimmy: What 'bigger picture'?

Gary: I'm-- uh, we are gonna take over this school.

Jimmy: 'We' are not taking over anything right now.

Gary: Time and tide wait for no man, my friend. But it seems they do wait for a wanna-be tough guy who's nothing but a little girl!

Jimmy: You're full of it!

Gary: So you keep telling me. Look, now come on, I promise you after this things are never gonna be the same again. Oh, I'm SO excited! I should have stopped taking those pills ages ago.

Jimmy: Yeah right. Whatever you say, Gary.

---

Gary: So, Jimmy-boy, here we are - The Hole. The place where this schools separates the men from the boys, the wheat from the chaff and all that nonsense.

Jimmy: Okay, so what's that got to do with standing up to people, keeping them in line?

Gary: This is where I stand up to you, my friend.

Jimmy: What are you talking about?

Gary: I know you hate me, Jimmy-boy. I know you said all that stuff about me behind my back.

Jimmy: What are you talking about?

Gary: Don't play innocent with me. You wanna run this school, I wanna run this school - only one of us is gonna make it - and it's gonna be me!
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and morons, I give you Russell!

Jimmy: Ah, man!

Russell: Me Russell!

Jimmy: Gary, now I hate you!

Gary: I know. Russell, go beat that little jerk who said that nasty stuff to me about your Mom and those barnyard animals.

Russell: What?! Come here! Russell wants vengeance!

---

Jimmy: You happy now, jerk?

Gary: Ecstatic! I love to watch two morons beat the crap out of each other!

Jimmy: Why'd ya do it, Gary? I thought we were friends!

Gary: [Laughs] Friends? You and me? I've taken dumps that had more brains than you, 'friend'. No. I'm taking over this school, and you're just a liability. See you around, moron.

Pete: Well done, Jimmy!

Jimmy: Yeah, great. What a waste of time. You alright, Russell?

Russell: Yeah.

Jimmy: Look, I never said anything about your Mom or farmyard animals.

Russell: You didn't?

Jimmy: No. But I want you to stop bullying weak kids.

Russell: Why?

Jimmy: Because there are a bunch of kids around this place who need a beating and you're picking on the few who don't. So I want you to leave me and him alone.

Russell: Oh, okay. Sorry. Bad Russell.