"The Candidate" Script

Juri: Move, Nerd! [Pushes Earnist]

Earnist: How original, call me a 'Nerd'. What next? 'Four eyes'? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!

Damon: Alright, you asked for it.

Juri: What's this? 'Claaass Perestant...'

Damon: 'Class President', dummy, it says, 'Class President'.

Juri: I don't know...

Damon: That's you?

Earnist: I'm the most suitable candidate I know.

Juri: Yeah, so's your Mom. [Laughs]

Damon: Yeah right [Rips poster]

Earnist: Oh no! [Gets wedgie from Juri]

Damon: [Laughs] Hehe, wedgie.

Juri: [Laughs] Don't forget to wipe!

Jimmy: Hows the campaign, Earnist?

Earnist: You'll vote for me, won't you?

Jimmy: Yeah, not a chance.

Earnist: What if I pay you?

Jimmy: Pay me? Now your talkin'.

Earnist: I always knew I was a born leader, hehe!

Jimmy: Yeah, but unless you buy everyone's vote you're never gonna win because they are definitely gonna ruin your speech at the debate.

Earnist: ...Unless I had a security manager! Oh, oh please, please, please, please, please!

Jimmy: I don't know, security managers, they cost a lot of money.

Earnist: Oh, I have money! I can pay you!

Jimmy: Good! I've always been a politician at heart.

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Earnist: In closing, remember - A vote for E means a vote for me. Thank you, everyone. Good night.