Monday, August 24, 2009
"Carnival Date" Script
Pinky: So, this is how you treat a girl? Well not me!
Jimmy: What are you talkin' about?
Pinky: We had a date and you are three minutes late!
Jimmy: No we didn't.
Pinky: Yes we did.
Jimmy: No, we really didn't. But, look, I remembered how much you like flowers.
Pinky: Oh, damn, that wasn't you. That was Derby. Well he's late! I cannot believe he's done this to me! Oh, and those are so beautiful... Three minutes! What does he think I am, a tramp? Ugh. I hope something important happened, like he's dead. Because, otherwise, there's no excuse!
Jimmy: Did you say you're waiting for Derby?
Pinky: Yes. I don't really like him but he's my cousin and our family wants us to get married. You know, keep up the tradition.
Jimmy: Wait, marry your cousin?
Pinky: You know, it used to be brother and sister until it was made illegal. My Aunt has four thumbs.
Jimmy: Really.
Pinky: Yeah, well I'm not marrying him now, he's humiliated me!
Jimmy: So, uh... What do you say you and I go out and leave Derby to another cousin?
Pinky: Great! You know, I'll meet you at the carnival tonight. Jimmy, I'm really starting to like you.
---
Jimmy: Where is that crazy chick?
Pinky: Hey, Jimmy! Glad to see you're on time unlike some of my other dates. What are we waiting for? Let's go have some fun! [Runs away]
Jimmy: Hey, wait up!
---
Jimmy: [Brings Pinky teddy bear]
Pinky: Oh, cool! Thanks, Jimmy! It's so cute!
Thanks for a great date, Jimmy.
Jimmy: What are you talkin' about?
Pinky: We had a date and you are three minutes late!
Jimmy: No we didn't.
Pinky: Yes we did.
Jimmy: No, we really didn't. But, look, I remembered how much you like flowers.
Pinky: Oh, damn, that wasn't you. That was Derby. Well he's late! I cannot believe he's done this to me! Oh, and those are so beautiful... Three minutes! What does he think I am, a tramp? Ugh. I hope something important happened, like he's dead. Because, otherwise, there's no excuse!
Jimmy: Did you say you're waiting for Derby?
Pinky: Yes. I don't really like him but he's my cousin and our family wants us to get married. You know, keep up the tradition.
Jimmy: Wait, marry your cousin?
Pinky: You know, it used to be brother and sister until it was made illegal. My Aunt has four thumbs.
Jimmy: Really.
Pinky: Yeah, well I'm not marrying him now, he's humiliated me!
Jimmy: So, uh... What do you say you and I go out and leave Derby to another cousin?
Pinky: Great! You know, I'll meet you at the carnival tonight. Jimmy, I'm really starting to like you.
---
Jimmy: Where is that crazy chick?
Pinky: Hey, Jimmy! Glad to see you're on time unlike some of my other dates. What are we waiting for? Let's go have some fun! [Runs away]
Jimmy: Hey, wait up!
---
Jimmy: [Brings Pinky teddy bear]
Pinky: Oh, cool! Thanks, Jimmy! It's so cute!
Thanks for a great date, Jimmy.
"Movie Tickets" Script
Pinky: Hey, Jimmy Hopkins.
Jimmy: Do I know you?
Pinky: No, I'm Pinky. But I know all about you. Everybodys talking about you. Everybody says that you're mean and angry and you like fighting.
Jimmy: Huh.
Pinky: Gary said you're so mad because you're sexually confused.
Jimmy: Yeah, well Gary talks a lot of crap.
Pinky: Oh, I know! I don't like him. He likes to torture people.
Jimmy: So what? He's not gonna torture me.
Pinky: Well I'm glad you're not sexually confused.
Jimmy: Really?
Pinky: Yeah. I like you, Jimmy Hopkins.
Jimmy: Oh yeah?
Pinky: But I need you to do something for me.
Jimmy: What a surprise.
Pinky: I'm last in line and this movie means everything to me. I'm gonna get terrible seats! Can you please get rid of all these people for me? Please, Jimmy?
Jimmy: What's in it for me?
Pinky: I'm a princess! And I need people to do things for me! So hurry up because I wanna be first!
Jimmy: Oh, man... Alright.
---
Pinky: That's great, Jimmy! If only you'd been born into my social circle.
Jimmy: Well I do have a few uses, you know.
Pinky: Oh really? Well, you know, nice girls like nice flowers. Anyway, here's some money. It's the lease I could do. And it's Daddy's, anyways. The shows about to start, but come see me sometime. We can work through these class issues we have.
Jimmy: Oh, I'll work through your class issues alright, sweetie.
Jimmy: Do I know you?
Pinky: No, I'm Pinky. But I know all about you. Everybodys talking about you. Everybody says that you're mean and angry and you like fighting.
Jimmy: Huh.
Pinky: Gary said you're so mad because you're sexually confused.
Jimmy: Yeah, well Gary talks a lot of crap.
Pinky: Oh, I know! I don't like him. He likes to torture people.
Jimmy: So what? He's not gonna torture me.
Pinky: Well I'm glad you're not sexually confused.
Jimmy: Really?
Pinky: Yeah. I like you, Jimmy Hopkins.
Jimmy: Oh yeah?
Pinky: But I need you to do something for me.
Jimmy: What a surprise.
Pinky: I'm last in line and this movie means everything to me. I'm gonna get terrible seats! Can you please get rid of all these people for me? Please, Jimmy?
Jimmy: What's in it for me?
Pinky: I'm a princess! And I need people to do things for me! So hurry up because I wanna be first!
Jimmy: Oh, man... Alright.
---
Pinky: That's great, Jimmy! If only you'd been born into my social circle.
Jimmy: Well I do have a few uses, you know.
Pinky: Oh really? Well, you know, nice girls like nice flowers. Anyway, here's some money. It's the lease I could do. And it's Daddy's, anyways. The shows about to start, but come see me sometime. We can work through these class issues we have.
Jimmy: Oh, I'll work through your class issues alright, sweetie.
"The Eggs" Script
Chad: Look - there he is!
Tad: I was wondering if you'd show up, Hopkins. Nice Aquaberry sweater. Tres chic.
Parker: Yeah.
Tad: Wow... You look a bit like my gardener at home.
Jimmy: Yeah? So what?
Tad: Yes, well, enough about gardeners or any domestic help. Listen - Me and the champs were planning a little revenge hit on old Hattrick. We don't like what he did to that old soak, Galloway. A chap can have a drink if he bloody hell wants to.
Jimmy: So?
Tad: [Laughs] So, my friend, are you, as they say, 'in'?
Jimmy: Sure. Are you English?
Tad: Well, no, I just speak this way because I'm very insecure. You see my father is a self-made man so I pretend to be old money, but in fact I'm really nouveau riche. But less about me, dear boy. Listen - We're going to egg that old codger's house.
Jimmy: Cool.
Tad: Smashing! You go get some eggs and meet me and the chaps back at my house.
---
Tad: Got the eggs, Hopkins?
Jimmy: You bet.
Tad: Then give them to me!
Jimmy: Take 'em.
Tad: Smashing! Now tell me, Hopkins - is it true you said I was inbred?
Jimmy: No!
Tad: Because first cousins is legal, my friend, legal!
Jimmy: Yeah, okay.
Tad: Yeah, and just because my elder brother doesn't have a chin and ended up in a lunatic asylum doesn't mean anything.
Jimmy: Whatever, Tad, your family is your business.
Gary: Don't lie, Jimmy. You said Tad was probably a hermaphrodite with that much inbreeding.
Jimmy: A hermaphro-what?
Gary: Don't act dumb. You said his Mom was also legally his Aunt and that he probably had webbed toes.
Tad: I don't--Well, just only on one foot.
Gary: Tad, you're not gonna take that kind of crap from this scum-bag, are you?
Tad: You've--you--you've been rude about Mommy! Let's get this pauper!
Tad: I was wondering if you'd show up, Hopkins. Nice Aquaberry sweater. Tres chic.
Parker: Yeah.
Tad: Wow... You look a bit like my gardener at home.
Jimmy: Yeah? So what?
Tad: Yes, well, enough about gardeners or any domestic help. Listen - Me and the champs were planning a little revenge hit on old Hattrick. We don't like what he did to that old soak, Galloway. A chap can have a drink if he bloody hell wants to.
Jimmy: So?
Tad: [Laughs] So, my friend, are you, as they say, 'in'?
Jimmy: Sure. Are you English?
Tad: Well, no, I just speak this way because I'm very insecure. You see my father is a self-made man so I pretend to be old money, but in fact I'm really nouveau riche. But less about me, dear boy. Listen - We're going to egg that old codger's house.
Jimmy: Cool.
Tad: Smashing! You go get some eggs and meet me and the chaps back at my house.
---
Tad: Got the eggs, Hopkins?
Jimmy: You bet.
Tad: Then give them to me!
Jimmy: Take 'em.
Tad: Smashing! Now tell me, Hopkins - is it true you said I was inbred?
Jimmy: No!
Tad: Because first cousins is legal, my friend, legal!
Jimmy: Yeah, okay.
Tad: Yeah, and just because my elder brother doesn't have a chin and ended up in a lunatic asylum doesn't mean anything.
Jimmy: Whatever, Tad, your family is your business.
Gary: Don't lie, Jimmy. You said Tad was probably a hermaphrodite with that much inbreeding.
Jimmy: A hermaphro-what?
Gary: Don't act dumb. You said his Mom was also legally his Aunt and that he probably had webbed toes.
Tad: I don't--Well, just only on one foot.
Gary: Tad, you're not gonna take that kind of crap from this scum-bag, are you?
Tad: You've--you--you've been rude about Mommy! Let's get this pauper!
"Hattrick vs. Galloway" Script
Mr. Hattrick: School rules are quiet clear on this subject. Quiet clear! No alcohol on school grounds! You're drunk! I can smell it on your breath. I can see it in your eyes!
Mr. Galloway: I'm not drunk!
Mr. Hattrick: Drunk! In charge of children! What kind of monster drinks in front of children?
Mr. Galloway: A parent!
Mr. Hattrick: A disgraceful one, yes! You've got a problem, haven't you?
Mr. Galloway: I'm just under a lot of pressure!
Mr. Hattrick: Well, I'm a kind and supportive colleague, Galloway. And as such, I think it is my duty to get sacked!
Mr. Galloway: Ah, do whatever you want, Hattrick. You always do!
Mr. Hattrick: The Head will find out about this!
Jimmy: You okay, sir?
Mr. Galloway: Ah, Jimmy. No, I'm not okay. I'm half drunk and I'm about to get fired. Fantastic! Oh, I'm a washed up old drunk and I'm only thirty-four. English, ya see, is a difficult subject to teach. I've tried any number of things to dull the pain - Yoga, meditation, needle-point, looking a dubious sites on the Internet. But nothing dulls the pain like scotch.
Jimmy: C'mon, sir, put that away.
Mr. Galloway: Are you mad? This is matter from the Gods!
Jimmy: Gimme that! Let's get rid of this before you get busted.
Mr. Galloway: That's very kind of you, Jimmy. Ms. Phillips is the only teacher to know about my vice. Take it to her. She'll know what to do.
---
Jimmy: Here they are. I think that's all of them.
Ms. Phillips: Thanks, Jimmy.
Jimmy: You're welcome, Ms.
Ms. Phillips: Please, take this.
Mr. Galloway: I'm not drunk!
Mr. Hattrick: Drunk! In charge of children! What kind of monster drinks in front of children?
Mr. Galloway: A parent!
Mr. Hattrick: A disgraceful one, yes! You've got a problem, haven't you?
Mr. Galloway: I'm just under a lot of pressure!
Mr. Hattrick: Well, I'm a kind and supportive colleague, Galloway. And as such, I think it is my duty to get sacked!
Mr. Galloway: Ah, do whatever you want, Hattrick. You always do!
Mr. Hattrick: The Head will find out about this!
Jimmy: You okay, sir?
Mr. Galloway: Ah, Jimmy. No, I'm not okay. I'm half drunk and I'm about to get fired. Fantastic! Oh, I'm a washed up old drunk and I'm only thirty-four. English, ya see, is a difficult subject to teach. I've tried any number of things to dull the pain - Yoga, meditation, needle-point, looking a dubious sites on the Internet. But nothing dulls the pain like scotch.
Jimmy: C'mon, sir, put that away.
Mr. Galloway: Are you mad? This is matter from the Gods!
Jimmy: Gimme that! Let's get rid of this before you get busted.
Mr. Galloway: That's very kind of you, Jimmy. Ms. Phillips is the only teacher to know about my vice. Take it to her. She'll know what to do.
---
Jimmy: Here they are. I think that's all of them.
Ms. Phillips: Thanks, Jimmy.
Jimmy: You're welcome, Ms.
Ms. Phillips: Please, take this.
"Last Minute Shopping" Script
Edna: [Coughing and sneezing into the soup]
Jimmy: Nice.
Edna: Ah, shut up, kid, it adds flavor to it. You wanna give it a go?
Jimmy: Sure! [Sneezes]
Edna: Try and get some bits in it!
Jimmy: I've got performance anxiety.
Edna: Ha, ha, ha, ha! Get used to it, kid, you're a man. It's all downhill from here, my friend. Anyway, what do you want?
Jimmy: Nothin'. The Head sent me.
Edna: He did? Oh, yeah! I need ya to go to town and pick up some meat and other things for me. Otherwise, I'm gonna have to put one of Ms. Phillip's cats in the casserole again.
Jimmy: Okay.
Edna: Uh, let me see. I need some meat from YumYum Market. Oh, and a razor from the barbers for my 'stache, and, um... Oh yeah, some new knickers from Worn In. I've had these on since last term, ha, ha, ha! Hurry up! Go, take my bike! Its that fine machine out there by the school gates.
Jimmy: Alright. She's gross...
---
Jimmy: Um, you better use that meat soon. The clerk says it expires at midnight.
Edna: Nonsense. There are no fussy eaters at Bullworth. It'll last for a month!
Jimmy: Nice.
Edna: Ah, shut up, kid, it adds flavor to it. You wanna give it a go?
Jimmy: Sure! [Sneezes]
Edna: Try and get some bits in it!
Jimmy: I've got performance anxiety.
Edna: Ha, ha, ha, ha! Get used to it, kid, you're a man. It's all downhill from here, my friend. Anyway, what do you want?
Jimmy: Nothin'. The Head sent me.
Edna: He did? Oh, yeah! I need ya to go to town and pick up some meat and other things for me. Otherwise, I'm gonna have to put one of Ms. Phillip's cats in the casserole again.
Jimmy: Okay.
Edna: Uh, let me see. I need some meat from YumYum Market. Oh, and a razor from the barbers for my 'stache, and, um... Oh yeah, some new knickers from Worn In. I've had these on since last term, ha, ha, ha! Hurry up! Go, take my bike! Its that fine machine out there by the school gates.
Jimmy: Alright. She's gross...
---
Jimmy: Um, you better use that meat soon. The clerk says it expires at midnight.
Edna: Nonsense. There are no fussy eaters at Bullworth. It'll last for a month!
"Ch.2: Rich Kid Blues" Script
Chapter 2
"Rich Kid Blues"
"Rich Kid Blues"
Jimmy: With Russell pacified, I could be forgiven for thinking my troubles at Bullworth were over. But this place is a rotten onion - Peel off one stinking layer and there's an even smellier one beneath.
---
Dr. Crabblesnitch: Well, Jimmy, word on the street is that you're something of a pugilist.
Jimmy: No, sir, I never puglized in my life.
Dr. Crabblesnitch: Really? And that you've been saying some entertaining things about me and some barnyard animals.
Jimmy: No, I never said that.
Dr. Crabblesnitch: Well, I listen to things, Hopkins. You try and stay out of trouble. Now go see the cook down in the kitchen. Helping here might teach you some humility.
Jimmy: Okay... sir.
Gord: Hey, new kid! You're that guy who beat up Russell.
Jimmy: So? What's it to you?
Gord: Hey, listen, we like to box, the noble art and all that. Why don't you come
by our gym at Old Bullworth Vale? We should definitely hang out. Yeah, I've heard a lot of things about you.
Jimmy: Yeah, whatever.
Gord: Oookay.
Jimmy: No, sir, I never puglized in my life.
Dr. Crabblesnitch: Really? And that you've been saying some entertaining things about me and some barnyard animals.
Jimmy: No, I never said that.
Dr. Crabblesnitch: Well, I listen to things, Hopkins. You try and stay out of trouble. Now go see the cook down in the kitchen. Helping here might teach you some humility.
Jimmy: Okay... sir.
Gord: Hey, new kid! You're that guy who beat up Russell.
Jimmy: So? What's it to you?
Gord: Hey, listen, we like to box, the noble art and all that. Why don't you come
by our gym at Old Bullworth Vale? We should definitely hang out. Yeah, I've heard a lot of things about you.
Jimmy: Yeah, whatever.
Gord: Oookay.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
"Help Gary" Script
Gary: There you are! Come on, I found something incredible.
Jimmy: Hold on. Relax, man, I can't keep getting in trouble. I can't get expelled again.
Gary: It's always about me with you. Me, me, me! I'm thinking bigger picture. And you're worrying about getting into trouble? You know what? You really are something.
Jimmy: What 'bigger picture'?
Gary: I'm-- uh, we are gonna take over this school.
Jimmy: 'We' are not taking over anything right now.
Gary: Time and tide wait for no man, my friend. But it seems they do wait for a wanna-be tough guy who's nothing but a little girl!
Jimmy: You're full of it!
Gary: So you keep telling me. Look, now come on, I promise you after this things are never gonna be the same again. Oh, I'm SO excited! I should have stopped taking those pills ages ago.
Jimmy: Yeah right. Whatever you say, Gary.
---
Gary: So, Jimmy-boy, here we are - The Hole. The place where this schools separates the men from the boys, the wheat from the chaff and all that nonsense.
Jimmy: Okay, so what's that got to do with standing up to people, keeping them in line?
Gary: This is where I stand up to you, my friend.
Jimmy: What are you talking about?
Gary: I know you hate me, Jimmy-boy. I know you said all that stuff about me behind my back.
Jimmy: What are you talking about?
Gary: Don't play innocent with me. You wanna run this school, I wanna run this school - only one of us is gonna make it - and it's gonna be me!
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and morons, I give you Russell!
Jimmy: Ah, man!
Russell: Me Russell!
Jimmy: Gary, now I hate you!
Gary: I know. Russell, go beat that little jerk who said that nasty stuff to me about your Mom and those barnyard animals.
Russell: What?! Come here! Russell wants vengeance!
---
Jimmy: You happy now, jerk?
Gary: Ecstatic! I love to watch two morons beat the crap out of each other!
Jimmy: Why'd ya do it, Gary? I thought we were friends!
Gary: [Laughs] Friends? You and me? I've taken dumps that had more brains than you, 'friend'. No. I'm taking over this school, and you're just a liability. See you around, moron.
Pete: Well done, Jimmy!
Jimmy: Yeah, great. What a waste of time. You alright, Russell?
Russell: Yeah.
Jimmy: Look, I never said anything about your Mom or farmyard animals.
Russell: You didn't?
Jimmy: No. But I want you to stop bullying weak kids.
Russell: Why?
Jimmy: Because there are a bunch of kids around this place who need a beating and you're picking on the few who don't. So I want you to leave me and him alone.
Russell: Oh, okay. Sorry. Bad Russell.
Jimmy: Hold on. Relax, man, I can't keep getting in trouble. I can't get expelled again.
Gary: It's always about me with you. Me, me, me! I'm thinking bigger picture. And you're worrying about getting into trouble? You know what? You really are something.
Jimmy: What 'bigger picture'?
Gary: I'm-- uh, we are gonna take over this school.
Jimmy: 'We' are not taking over anything right now.
Gary: Time and tide wait for no man, my friend. But it seems they do wait for a wanna-be tough guy who's nothing but a little girl!
Jimmy: You're full of it!
Gary: So you keep telling me. Look, now come on, I promise you after this things are never gonna be the same again. Oh, I'm SO excited! I should have stopped taking those pills ages ago.
Jimmy: Yeah right. Whatever you say, Gary.
---
Gary: So, Jimmy-boy, here we are - The Hole. The place where this schools separates the men from the boys, the wheat from the chaff and all that nonsense.
Jimmy: Okay, so what's that got to do with standing up to people, keeping them in line?
Gary: This is where I stand up to you, my friend.
Jimmy: What are you talking about?
Gary: I know you hate me, Jimmy-boy. I know you said all that stuff about me behind my back.
Jimmy: What are you talking about?
Gary: Don't play innocent with me. You wanna run this school, I wanna run this school - only one of us is gonna make it - and it's gonna be me!
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and morons, I give you Russell!
Jimmy: Ah, man!
Russell: Me Russell!
Jimmy: Gary, now I hate you!
Gary: I know. Russell, go beat that little jerk who said that nasty stuff to me about your Mom and those barnyard animals.
Russell: What?! Come here! Russell wants vengeance!
---
Jimmy: You happy now, jerk?
Gary: Ecstatic! I love to watch two morons beat the crap out of each other!
Jimmy: Why'd ya do it, Gary? I thought we were friends!
Gary: [Laughs] Friends? You and me? I've taken dumps that had more brains than you, 'friend'. No. I'm taking over this school, and you're just a liability. See you around, moron.
Pete: Well done, Jimmy!
Jimmy: Yeah, great. What a waste of time. You alright, Russell?
Russell: Yeah.
Jimmy: Look, I never said anything about your Mom or farmyard animals.
Russell: You didn't?
Jimmy: No. But I want you to stop bullying weak kids.
Russell: Why?
Jimmy: Because there are a bunch of kids around this place who need a beating and you're picking on the few who don't. So I want you to leave me and him alone.
Russell: Oh, okay. Sorry. Bad Russell.
"Character Sheets" Script
Melvin: Bunch of thieving jerks!
Jimmy: What's up, Melvin?
Melvin: Ah, greetings. Hmm, Jimmy, listen. Some ruffians took it upon themselves to steal my Grottos & Gremlins character sheets and wont return them. We're playing tonight, the whole situation is untenable!
Jimmy: 'Grottos & Gremlins'? Boy, you are sad.
Melvin: 'Sad'? I'm distraught! Role-playing is the high point of human achievement!
In fact, upon reflection, I am prepared to offer a bag of grotes to the fair knight whom soever recovers these precious screens.
Do you accept the quest?
Jimmy: How much?
Melvin: Ten grotes.
Jimmy: What?
Melvin: I mean, 'ten bucks'.
Jimmy: Wait here.
Melvin: And you can have your pick of my wenches.
Jimmy: Great.
---
Jimmy: Alright, you've got something of Melvin's, give it up!
Trent: Alright, I'll give it to you if you beat my friend in a little game. He kicks you in the nuts then you kick him in the nuts until one of you gives up. If you win, you get the sheet. If not, we keep it.
Jimmy: That's just... stupid.
Troy: Maybe, but I go first! [Kicks Jimmy in the nuts]
---
Melvin: You recovered my precious documents! Thank you, sir, you are a noble man indeed.
Jimmy: Just give me the money, Melvin.
Melvin: You have earned it. And don't forget about the wenches!
Brilliant! Alright!
Jimmy: What's up, Melvin?
Melvin: Ah, greetings. Hmm, Jimmy, listen. Some ruffians took it upon themselves to steal my Grottos & Gremlins character sheets and wont return them. We're playing tonight, the whole situation is untenable!
Jimmy: 'Grottos & Gremlins'? Boy, you are sad.
Melvin: 'Sad'? I'm distraught! Role-playing is the high point of human achievement!
In fact, upon reflection, I am prepared to offer a bag of grotes to the fair knight whom soever recovers these precious screens.
Do you accept the quest?
Jimmy: How much?
Melvin: Ten grotes.
Jimmy: What?
Melvin: I mean, 'ten bucks'.
Jimmy: Wait here.
Melvin: And you can have your pick of my wenches.
Jimmy: Great.
---
Jimmy: Alright, you've got something of Melvin's, give it up!
Trent: Alright, I'll give it to you if you beat my friend in a little game. He kicks you in the nuts then you kick him in the nuts until one of you gives up. If you win, you get the sheet. If not, we keep it.
Jimmy: That's just... stupid.
Troy: Maybe, but I go first! [Kicks Jimmy in the nuts]
---
Melvin: You recovered my precious documents! Thank you, sir, you are a noble man indeed.
Jimmy: Just give me the money, Melvin.
Melvin: You have earned it. And don't forget about the wenches!
Brilliant! Alright!
"The Big Prank" Script
Gary: Okay, here's the deal - We're gonna feed Chad's dog some of this rancid meat. Wait for him to take a dump and--
Pete: What-- What the Hell? I'm outta here.
Gary: Whatever, Pete. Okay, let's do this, Jim, I'll explain the rest later.
---
Gary: [Feeding Chad's dog] Here you go, boy! How 'bout a little trick for treat? Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum...
Jimmy: That's gross!
Gary: Score!
---
Gary: Okay, get ready!
Mr. Burton: What the Devil is going on out here?! [Jumps on flaming dog poo] OW! God damn kids!
Pete: What-- What the Hell? I'm outta here.
Gary: Whatever, Pete. Okay, let's do this, Jim, I'll explain the rest later.
---
Gary: [Feeding Chad's dog] Here you go, boy! How 'bout a little trick for treat? Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum...
Jimmy: That's gross!
Gary: Score!
---
Gary: Okay, get ready!
Mr. Burton: What the Devil is going on out here?! [Jumps on flaming dog poo] OW! God damn kids!
"Halloween" Script
Jimmy: Hey, whats goin' on?
Gary: Not much. Just lying here wishing I could be more like you.
Jimmy: Whatever.
Gary: But, I'm cursed.
Jimmy: Yeah? Really.
Gary: Yeah. Cursed by brains. Do you know what torture it is to be thinking all the time? No, of course you don't.
Jimmy: Yeah, your cursed, your great, whatever. What else is goin' on?
Gary: Not much. Let me see, uh, it's Halloween, all the Prefects are at some party and the teachers are 'entertaining', I use that word loosely, the kids. No, I'd say the opportunities for fun are pretty much null.
Jimmy: What do you have in mind?
Gary: Come on. You'll see.
Gary: Not much. Just lying here wishing I could be more like you.
Jimmy: Whatever.
Gary: But, I'm cursed.
Jimmy: Yeah? Really.
Gary: Yeah. Cursed by brains. Do you know what torture it is to be thinking all the time? No, of course you don't.
Jimmy: Yeah, your cursed, your great, whatever. What else is goin' on?
Gary: Not much. Let me see, uh, it's Halloween, all the Prefects are at some party and the teachers are 'entertaining', I use that word loosely, the kids. No, I'd say the opportunities for fun are pretty much null.
Jimmy: What do you have in mind?
Gary: Come on. You'll see.
"The Candidate" Script
Juri: Move, Nerd! [Pushes Earnist]
Earnist: How original, call me a 'Nerd'. What next? 'Four eyes'? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!
Damon: Alright, you asked for it.
Juri: What's this? 'Claaass Perestant...'
Damon: 'Class President', dummy, it says, 'Class President'.
Juri: I don't know...
Damon: That's you?
Earnist: I'm the most suitable candidate I know.
Juri: Yeah, so's your Mom. [Laughs]
Damon: Yeah right [Rips poster]
Earnist: Oh no! [Gets wedgie from Juri]
Damon: [Laughs] Hehe, wedgie.
Juri: [Laughs] Don't forget to wipe!
Jimmy: Hows the campaign, Earnist?
Earnist: You'll vote for me, won't you?
Jimmy: Yeah, not a chance.
Earnist: What if I pay you?
Jimmy: Pay me? Now your talkin'.
Earnist: I always knew I was a born leader, hehe!
Jimmy: Yeah, but unless you buy everyone's vote you're never gonna win because they are definitely gonna ruin your speech at the debate.
Earnist: ...Unless I had a security manager! Oh, oh please, please, please, please, please!
Jimmy: I don't know, security managers, they cost a lot of money.
Earnist: Oh, I have money! I can pay you!
Jimmy: Good! I've always been a politician at heart.
---
Earnist: In closing, remember - A vote for E means a vote for me. Thank you, everyone. Good night.
Earnist: How original, call me a 'Nerd'. What next? 'Four eyes'? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!
Damon: Alright, you asked for it.
Juri: What's this? 'Claaass Perestant...'
Damon: 'Class President', dummy, it says, 'Class President'.
Juri: I don't know...
Damon: That's you?
Earnist: I'm the most suitable candidate I know.
Juri: Yeah, so's your Mom. [Laughs]
Damon: Yeah right [Rips poster]
Earnist: Oh no! [Gets wedgie from Juri]
Damon: [Laughs] Hehe, wedgie.
Juri: [Laughs] Don't forget to wipe!
Jimmy: Hows the campaign, Earnist?
Earnist: You'll vote for me, won't you?
Jimmy: Yeah, not a chance.
Earnist: What if I pay you?
Jimmy: Pay me? Now your talkin'.
Earnist: I always knew I was a born leader, hehe!
Jimmy: Yeah, but unless you buy everyone's vote you're never gonna win because they are definitely gonna ruin your speech at the debate.
Earnist: ...Unless I had a security manager! Oh, oh please, please, please, please, please!
Jimmy: I don't know, security managers, they cost a lot of money.
Earnist: Oh, I have money! I can pay you!
Jimmy: Good! I've always been a politician at heart.
---
Earnist: In closing, remember - A vote for E means a vote for me. Thank you, everyone. Good night.
"The Diary" Script
Beatrice: [Crying]
Jimmy: Hey, Beatrice, what's wrong?
Beatrice: Two things - Firstly, my cold soars are totally acting up again.
Jimmy: What? Ew, gross.
Beatrice: Secondly, Mr. Hattrick saw me writing in my diary during class and he took it and he locked it in his desk. And he says hes gonna give it to the principle tomorrow. If anyone see whats in there I will just die! It's really personal.
Jimmy: Yeah, well nothing like having the whole school know your deepest secrets. Makes your teenage years go by in a flash.
Beatrice: Yeah, well, you'll soon find out.
Jimmy: Me? Why?
Beatrice: In the diary I talk a lot about you and me.
Jimmy: What?! There is no you and me!
Beatrice: Yeah, yeah there is. See, first you rescued my notes from Mandy and then we fell in love and you brought me flowers and wrote me poetry and showed this kinder, sensitive side that soon the whole world is gonna know about. We're, like, doomed lovers.
Jimmy: Enough! Okay, I'll get your book back.
Beatrice: Then we can kiss! The cold soars aren't contagious once they start to scab over!
---
Beatrice: Oh, there you are! Did you get it?
Jimmy: Yes I did. And I didn't read it. Much.
Beatrice: Much obliged.
Jimmy: Hey, Beatrice, what's wrong?
Beatrice: Two things - Firstly, my cold soars are totally acting up again.
Jimmy: What? Ew, gross.
Beatrice: Secondly, Mr. Hattrick saw me writing in my diary during class and he took it and he locked it in his desk. And he says hes gonna give it to the principle tomorrow. If anyone see whats in there I will just die! It's really personal.
Jimmy: Yeah, well nothing like having the whole school know your deepest secrets. Makes your teenage years go by in a flash.
Beatrice: Yeah, well, you'll soon find out.
Jimmy: Me? Why?
Beatrice: In the diary I talk a lot about you and me.
Jimmy: What?! There is no you and me!
Beatrice: Yeah, yeah there is. See, first you rescued my notes from Mandy and then we fell in love and you brought me flowers and wrote me poetry and showed this kinder, sensitive side that soon the whole world is gonna know about. We're, like, doomed lovers.
Jimmy: Enough! Okay, I'll get your book back.
Beatrice: Then we can kiss! The cold soars aren't contagious once they start to scab over!
---
Beatrice: Oh, there you are! Did you get it?
Jimmy: Yes I did. And I didn't read it. Much.
Beatrice: Much obliged.
"Defend Bucky" Script
Gary: [Poking Pete] Sorry. Heh, sorry 'bout that.
Pete: Cut it out! Stop, Gary, I'm tryin' to watch this.
Gary: Ah, swim team. Intellectual stuff. So tell me, Petey, do you like watching the girls in their swimming costumes? Does that fuel your filthy little fantasies?
Pete: Gary, just get out of the way.
Gary: Oh, Marian, show me your breast stroke again! Or, wait, do you like the boys on the team?
Pete: Yeah right, Gary.
Gary: Which is it, Petey?
Jimmy: I see you guys are getting along as usual.
Gary: Just toughening him up. Turning him into a man or a woman or... something.
Algie: Hey, Jimmy. Hey, Petey.
Gary: Ah, pee-stain! Good to see you.
Algie: Listen, Jimmy, I need a favor. Bucky went to the Auto Shop to get some parts for his Science projects. He hasn't come back yet, I think he might be in trouble. Please?
Jimmy: Why don't you go yourself?
Algie: I've got homework. [Nervous laughter] ... Okay, I'm frightened! And I have a weak bladder. I think the Bullies might have gotten him! Please, I'll pay!
Gary: I say do it. Its a good chance to show Russell who's in charge around here. Now run along, pee-stain, before you mark the carpet.
Yes. We've gotta take care of Russell and his boys. Then after that, take care of all the other cliques. Soon this school will be ours.
Jimmy: I don't want the school.
Gary: Yeah, well I do, pal, and I intend to get it. Now go help that dork.
Jimmy: And what are you gonna do?
Gary: I've got planning to do. [Pokes Pete]
Pete: Knock it off!
Gary: Sorry.
Pete: Stop!
Gary: Sorry.
---
Hobo: Damn it, kids, keep it down!
Jimmy: Nice to know there's a violent, crazy old man on campus.
Bucky: Thanks, Jimmy, that's great. Here, take this.
Pete: Cut it out! Stop, Gary, I'm tryin' to watch this.
Gary: Ah, swim team. Intellectual stuff. So tell me, Petey, do you like watching the girls in their swimming costumes? Does that fuel your filthy little fantasies?
Pete: Gary, just get out of the way.
Gary: Oh, Marian, show me your breast stroke again! Or, wait, do you like the boys on the team?
Pete: Yeah right, Gary.
Gary: Which is it, Petey?
Jimmy: I see you guys are getting along as usual.
Gary: Just toughening him up. Turning him into a man or a woman or... something.
Algie: Hey, Jimmy. Hey, Petey.
Gary: Ah, pee-stain! Good to see you.
Algie: Listen, Jimmy, I need a favor. Bucky went to the Auto Shop to get some parts for his Science projects. He hasn't come back yet, I think he might be in trouble. Please?
Jimmy: Why don't you go yourself?
Algie: I've got homework. [Nervous laughter] ... Okay, I'm frightened! And I have a weak bladder. I think the Bullies might have gotten him! Please, I'll pay!
Gary: I say do it. Its a good chance to show Russell who's in charge around here. Now run along, pee-stain, before you mark the carpet.
Yes. We've gotta take care of Russell and his boys. Then after that, take care of all the other cliques. Soon this school will be ours.
Jimmy: I don't want the school.
Gary: Yeah, well I do, pal, and I intend to get it. Now go help that dork.
Jimmy: And what are you gonna do?
Gary: I've got planning to do. [Pokes Pete]
Pete: Knock it off!
Gary: Sorry.
Pete: Stop!
Gary: Sorry.
---
Hobo: Damn it, kids, keep it down!
Jimmy: Nice to know there's a violent, crazy old man on campus.
Bucky: Thanks, Jimmy, that's great. Here, take this.
"That Bitch" Script
Beatrice: Give it back!
Mandy: Or what?
Beatrice: Or, well-- Just give it back!
Mandy: Are you threatening me, metal-mouth?
Beatrice: No, I just-- Just give it back, you can't just steal things from me!
Mandy: [Laughs] Unfortunately for you, my pig-ugly friend, that is exactly what I can do. In fact, I can do anything I like in this place. Anything at all. Chou, spotty.
Beatrice: Give it back...
Mandy: [To Jimmy] And you should stay out of the Girl's Dorm, you little perv. I see you undressing me with your eyes. Sicko.
Jimmy: You wish.
Beatrice: Please, will you help me?
Jimmy: Do I have to?
Beatrice: Yes! It's vital. Shes stolen my lab notes. Without them I'll fail Chemistry and I'll never get into Med school, now I wont find the cure for cancer. Basically, the future of the whole world rests on those notes.
Jimmy: What's in it for me?
Beatrice: Well, if you get them back I'll-- I'll kiss you.
Jimmy: Uhg! Uh, that's okay.
Beatrice: Oh, okay, well, but if you don't I'll tell the whole school you're some kind
of sad sicko who spies on girls getting changed in their dorm.
Jimmy: Relax. One set of lab notes comin' up.
Mandy: Or what?
Beatrice: Or, well-- Just give it back!
Mandy: Are you threatening me, metal-mouth?
Beatrice: No, I just-- Just give it back, you can't just steal things from me!
Mandy: [Laughs] Unfortunately for you, my pig-ugly friend, that is exactly what I can do. In fact, I can do anything I like in this place. Anything at all. Chou, spotty.
Beatrice: Give it back...
Mandy: [To Jimmy] And you should stay out of the Girl's Dorm, you little perv. I see you undressing me with your eyes. Sicko.
Jimmy: You wish.
Beatrice: Please, will you help me?
Jimmy: Do I have to?
Beatrice: Yes! It's vital. Shes stolen my lab notes. Without them I'll fail Chemistry and I'll never get into Med school, now I wont find the cure for cancer. Basically, the future of the whole world rests on those notes.
Jimmy: What's in it for me?
Beatrice: Well, if you get them back I'll-- I'll kiss you.
Jimmy: Uhg! Uh, that's okay.
Beatrice: Oh, okay, well, but if you don't I'll tell the whole school you're some kind
of sad sicko who spies on girls getting changed in their dorm.
Jimmy: Relax. One set of lab notes comin' up.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
"A Little Help" Script
Gary: Go on, Petey! Go cry to the teacher. Tell them I was nasty to you.
Petey: Shut up, Gary, you're such a jerk, man.
Gary: Oh, am I Petey? Oh, you're so cunning. I'm really upset. Actually, I think I'm gonna go cry. Then I'd be just like you. Cry, little girl. Oh, look out. Here comes Jimmy.
Jimmy: Just knock it off, Gary. You're out of line.
Gary: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was hanging out in the Girls' Dorm. Silly me.
Jimmy: Shut up, man, you're boring.
Gary: Boring? I'm boring. You're non too interesting yourself, friend. [Sighs] Look, I'm sorry, both of you. I apologize, okay? I just get a little over-excited. Forgive me.
Jimmy: Forget it. It's cool.
Gary: Anyway, I got a good idea for some fun. Let's go out and torment someone really helpless and unfortunate. That homeless guy, haha... C'mon.
You comin', little Petey? C'mon, I'm sorry. I'll give you a kiss if that's what you want.
Pete: Shut up.
Gary: Then come on.
---
Gary: Where is this dirty old perv?
Pete: You know, you're not very nice, Gary.
Gary: And you're a loser, Petey. One of life's unfortunates.
Hobo: Get outta here, you little scum!
Gary: [Laughs] So I guess the rumors are true, Jimmy. Your Dad does live on campus.
Jimmy: You jerk!
Gary: Ow! Let's leave this guy to his welfare payments! C'mon, let's get outta here!
Hobo: Just get outta here, kid.
Jimmy: Why should I?
Hobo: Because otherwise I'll kill ya!
Jimmy: What's your problem?
Hobo: That's a long story. You got any liquor?
Jimmy: No. I'm fifteen.
Hobo: Well, what about drugs?
Jimmy: No!
Hobo: Then why shouldn't I kill you?
Jimmy: Alright then, tough-guy, kill me!
Hobo: [Laughs] You know what, kid? I like your style. You've got guts. When I was
on that ridge in Korea watching my buddies get killed by friendly-fire I coulda used somebody like you.
Jimmy: Yeah? Thanks.
Hobo: But I bet you can't fight. You do me a favor and I'll show you some real moves. Classified moves. Real special Army stuff.
Jimmy: Cool.
Hobo: Just get me a part for my radio and I'll show you what the Army taught me.
Jimmy: What, like how to get shot by your own side?
Hobo: Exactly.
Petey: Shut up, Gary, you're such a jerk, man.
Gary: Oh, am I Petey? Oh, you're so cunning. I'm really upset. Actually, I think I'm gonna go cry. Then I'd be just like you. Cry, little girl. Oh, look out. Here comes Jimmy.
Jimmy: Just knock it off, Gary. You're out of line.
Gary: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was hanging out in the Girls' Dorm. Silly me.
Jimmy: Shut up, man, you're boring.
Gary: Boring? I'm boring. You're non too interesting yourself, friend. [Sighs] Look, I'm sorry, both of you. I apologize, okay? I just get a little over-excited. Forgive me.
Jimmy: Forget it. It's cool.
Gary: Anyway, I got a good idea for some fun. Let's go out and torment someone really helpless and unfortunate. That homeless guy, haha... C'mon.
You comin', little Petey? C'mon, I'm sorry. I'll give you a kiss if that's what you want.
Pete: Shut up.
Gary: Then come on.
---
Gary: Where is this dirty old perv?
Pete: You know, you're not very nice, Gary.
Gary: And you're a loser, Petey. One of life's unfortunates.
Hobo: Get outta here, you little scum!
Gary: [Laughs] So I guess the rumors are true, Jimmy. Your Dad does live on campus.
Jimmy: You jerk!
Gary: Ow! Let's leave this guy to his welfare payments! C'mon, let's get outta here!
Hobo: Just get outta here, kid.
Jimmy: Why should I?
Hobo: Because otherwise I'll kill ya!
Jimmy: What's your problem?
Hobo: That's a long story. You got any liquor?
Jimmy: No. I'm fifteen.
Hobo: Well, what about drugs?
Jimmy: No!
Hobo: Then why shouldn't I kill you?
Jimmy: Alright then, tough-guy, kill me!
Hobo: [Laughs] You know what, kid? I like your style. You've got guts. When I was
on that ridge in Korea watching my buddies get killed by friendly-fire I coulda used somebody like you.
Jimmy: Yeah? Thanks.
Hobo: But I bet you can't fight. You do me a favor and I'll show you some real moves. Classified moves. Real special Army stuff.
Jimmy: Cool.
Hobo: Just get me a part for my radio and I'll show you what the Army taught me.
Jimmy: What, like how to get shot by your own side?
Hobo: Exactly.
"Save Algie" Script
Jimmy: [Sniffs] Ew...
Algie: So... You're the new kid, huh? Everyone is talking about you.
Jimmy: Oh, are they. And what are 'they' saying?
Algie: Nothin'. Except that you're friends with that sociopath, Gary.
Jimmy: Socio-what?
Algie: 'Sociopath', it means... Never mind. Forget I said anything. I need you to help me.
Jimmy: Wait, you need me to help you?
Algie: I got some library books that need to be returned, but I'm too scared to go to my locker.
Jimmy: Do I look like a Librarian?
Algie: No, listen, I need you're help. Pretend we're friends! Walk with me! I'll pay! I'll pay you two bucks!
Jimmy: Two bucks, are you crazy? Make it five.
Algie: No, two bucks?
Jimmy: Great, five bucks. Let's go, buddy.
---
Algie: Here it is!
Thanks, Jimmy! Here's the cash. I'll tell my Mom that not everyone at Bullworth is mean!
Algie: So... You're the new kid, huh? Everyone is talking about you.
Jimmy: Oh, are they. And what are 'they' saying?
Algie: Nothin'. Except that you're friends with that sociopath, Gary.
Jimmy: Socio-what?
Algie: 'Sociopath', it means... Never mind. Forget I said anything. I need you to help me.
Jimmy: Wait, you need me to help you?
Algie: I got some library books that need to be returned, but I'm too scared to go to my locker.
Jimmy: Do I look like a Librarian?
Algie: No, listen, I need you're help. Pretend we're friends! Walk with me! I'll pay! I'll pay you two bucks!
Jimmy: Two bucks, are you crazy? Make it five.
Algie: No, two bucks?
Jimmy: Great, five bucks. Let's go, buddy.
---
Algie: Here it is!
Thanks, Jimmy! Here's the cash. I'll tell my Mom that not everyone at Bullworth is mean!
"Slingshot" Script
Gary: So it's a good idea, right?
Pete: Yeah, okay. Alright, sure, I'll do it.
Gary: Hey, man, what's goin' on?
Jimmy: Not much.
Gary: I was just telling Petey here about my idea to take over the school. I mean, 'my plan for us to take over the school'.
Jimmy: What plan?
Gary: Don't worry, Jimmy. It's just a little something I came up with. It's sink or swim, my friend. And if you're good at swimming, you gotta let the losers drown. Why don't you guys leave the thinking up to me.
Jimmy: What?
Gary: What? What what duuuh... Can't you say anything else? Haha... You know what, Petey, you were right. Jimmy is pretty dumb.
Jimmy: What'd you say about me?
Pete: Whoa, nothing, no, no, no, all I said is that you had to be pretty dumb to be expelled from so many schools, that's all.
Gary: Relax, James. All he said is that you must be dumb. Or maybe you're all messed up because you came from a broken home.
Jimmy: What'd you say about me, dwarf!
Gary: C'mon, dude, chill.
Pete: No. No, no, no, no, no... Gary's taken' everything out of context, man.
Gary: Whoa, whoa, whoa... Don't lie, Petey. DON'T you lie. Because you know what happens to liers?
Pete: No, no, I'm not lying.
Gary: We kick them in the BALLS! [Laughs]
C'mon, Jimmy, let's see how good you are with this new slingshot I heard you had. Don't worry, friend, nothing escapes my notice. I hear everything. You and me? We can do things.
Pete: Yeah, okay. Alright, sure, I'll do it.
Gary: Hey, man, what's goin' on?
Jimmy: Not much.
Gary: I was just telling Petey here about my idea to take over the school. I mean, 'my plan for us to take over the school'.
Jimmy: What plan?
Gary: Don't worry, Jimmy. It's just a little something I came up with. It's sink or swim, my friend. And if you're good at swimming, you gotta let the losers drown. Why don't you guys leave the thinking up to me.
Jimmy: What?
Gary: What? What what duuuh... Can't you say anything else? Haha... You know what, Petey, you were right. Jimmy is pretty dumb.
Jimmy: What'd you say about me?
Pete: Whoa, nothing, no, no, no, all I said is that you had to be pretty dumb to be expelled from so many schools, that's all.
Gary: Relax, James. All he said is that you must be dumb. Or maybe you're all messed up because you came from a broken home.
Jimmy: What'd you say about me, dwarf!
Gary: C'mon, dude, chill.
Pete: No. No, no, no, no, no... Gary's taken' everything out of context, man.
Gary: Whoa, whoa, whoa... Don't lie, Petey. DON'T you lie. Because you know what happens to liers?
Pete: No, no, I'm not lying.
Gary: We kick them in the BALLS! [Laughs]
C'mon, Jimmy, let's see how good you are with this new slingshot I heard you had. Don't worry, friend, nothing escapes my notice. I hear everything. You and me? We can do things.
"The Setup" Script
Dr. Crabblesnitch: You seem to be making yourself quite comfortable here, my boy.
Jimmy: I'm just tryin' to fit in.
Dr. Crabblesnitch: By fighting? By making a nuisance of yourself? That is not the Bullworth way, boy.
Jimmy: Yeah, you could've fooled me.
Dr. Crabblesnitch: What?!
Jimmy: I said, 'You could've fooled me'! This place is full of bullies and maniacs.
Dr. Crabblesnitch: Nonsense. That' just school-spirit, hijinks. Why, in my day, we felt nothing of castrating the new boys. I want you to stop this nonsense, Hopkins, I want you to behave yourself. You might learn something.
Jimmy: Fine. Can I go now, Sir?
Dr. Crabblesnitch: On your way.
Davis: Hey, I saw you suckin' up to Crabblesnitch.
Jimmy: What? Shut up!
Davis: Screw you, new kid. This is what we do to teacher's pets around here.
Jimmy: You better not-- OW! Come here, you little--
Davis: Haha, yeah, come and get me.
Jimmy: I'm just tryin' to fit in.
Dr. Crabblesnitch: By fighting? By making a nuisance of yourself? That is not the Bullworth way, boy.
Jimmy: Yeah, you could've fooled me.
Dr. Crabblesnitch: What?!
Jimmy: I said, 'You could've fooled me'! This place is full of bullies and maniacs.
Dr. Crabblesnitch: Nonsense. That' just school-spirit, hijinks. Why, in my day, we felt nothing of castrating the new boys. I want you to stop this nonsense, Hopkins, I want you to behave yourself. You might learn something.
Jimmy: Fine. Can I go now, Sir?
Dr. Crabblesnitch: On your way.
Davis: Hey, I saw you suckin' up to Crabblesnitch.
Jimmy: What? Shut up!
Davis: Screw you, new kid. This is what we do to teacher's pets around here.
Jimmy: You better not-- OW! Come here, you little--
Davis: Haha, yeah, come and get me.
"Ch.1: Making New Friends and Enemies" Script
Jimmy: So here I am at probably the worst school in the county who's alumni are nothing but arms dealers, serial killers, and corporate lawyers. Real scum. And that old creep thinks he can tame me? We shall see, my friend. I only give people what they have coming to them.
Ms. Danvers: Where's your uniform, young Hopkins? Run along now, child.
---
Wade: Guess what time it is. Yep! Time for a beat-down!
Ethan: Get the new kid! Beat him down!
---
Jimmy: [Laughing]
Russell: You're dead, new kid! Dead!
Mr. Hattrick: Hey, you! Break it up!
That's enough of that! Break it up! Why are you not in your uniform, young man? Go change immediately.
Jimmy: Aw, come on.
---
Gary: Hey, you're the new kid.
Jimmy: Yeah, what's it to you?
Gary: Friendly, arn't ya?
Jimmy: Give me a break, loser.
Gary: Hey relax, friend, you're all pent up. Go easy or they put you on medication. They did to me. Boy, it nearly sent me insane.
Jimmy: That's fascinating. Now if you'll excuse--
Gary: I said, 'relax', friend.
Jimmy: Get off, man!
Gary: Listen to me, tough guy, you just arrived at the toughest school in the country and I'm offering to be you're friend. Trust me. In a place like this you're gonna need friends. So it's up to you. You gonna play nice, or what?
Jimmy: Yeah, sure.
Gary: Good. So how 'bout I show you around?
---
Pete: Hey, how ya doin'? You must be the new kid. I'm Pete. Pete Kowalski.
Jimmy: Jimmy Hopkins, and don't ask how I'm doin'. I've been here five minutes and already people want me dead. Even my parents didn't hate me this quickly.
Pete: Well, welcome to Bullworth. It's a dump.
Jimmy: Great. I've been expelled from anywhere halfway decent.
Gary: 'Yeah, I've been expelled from anywhere halfway decent 'cause I'm really bad.' Give up the tough-guy act, pal.
Jimmy: Hey, man, what's your problem?
Gary: Well, ADD primarily. But also life, my parents, this school, western civilization, but really, honestly, enough about me-- Oh, I see you've met the Dorm's mascot. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Femme-Boy, the girliest boy in school. Petey, haven't you got some imaginary friends to go annoy?
Pete: Why don't you leave me alone, Gary.
Gary: Ha. Look at you. 'Leave me alone, Gary. I'm really self-important now that I've finally hit puberty.' What's your problem? I'm just being nice to the new kid as he passes through Bullworth on his inevitable journey to prison.
Jimmy: Look, I gotta unpack. Would you guys mind getting outta here?
Gary: Oh, now look what you've done, Pete. Jimmy can't stand you already.
---
Gary: Feeding time at the zoo. Okay, here's the deal: Over there we got the Nerds. Of course they're complete social outcasts.
Jimmy: They look pretty harmless.
Gary: They're actually sneaky bastards. Their turf is the Library.
And those are the Preps. They're all money and condescending attitudes.
Jimmy: Yeah, massively inbred and completely brainless.
Gary: Very observant, Jimmy-boy.
Now over there are the Greasers. They think they're tough.
Jimmy: Or at least try to look tough.
Gary: Wouldn't advise messing with them. At least not yet. They hang by the Auto Shop.
And last but not least, the Jocks. These guys rule the school. Definitely avoid them.
Jimmy: Whatever, I'm not afraid of some dumb 'roid monkeys.
Gary: You'll learn.
[Bell rings]
Gary: Come on, let's go.
---
Edward Seymour II: You're here to learn, not to goof off. Get to class.
Chapter 1
"Making New Friends and Enemies"
Ms. Danvers: Where's your uniform, young Hopkins? Run along now, child.
---
Wade: Guess what time it is. Yep! Time for a beat-down!
Ethan: Get the new kid! Beat him down!
---
Jimmy: [Laughing]
Russell: You're dead, new kid! Dead!
Mr. Hattrick: Hey, you! Break it up!
That's enough of that! Break it up! Why are you not in your uniform, young man? Go change immediately.
Jimmy: Aw, come on.
---
Gary: Hey, you're the new kid.
Jimmy: Yeah, what's it to you?
Gary: Friendly, arn't ya?
Jimmy: Give me a break, loser.
Gary: Hey relax, friend, you're all pent up. Go easy or they put you on medication. They did to me. Boy, it nearly sent me insane.
Jimmy: That's fascinating. Now if you'll excuse--
Gary: I said, 'relax', friend.
Jimmy: Get off, man!
Gary: Listen to me, tough guy, you just arrived at the toughest school in the country and I'm offering to be you're friend. Trust me. In a place like this you're gonna need friends. So it's up to you. You gonna play nice, or what?
Jimmy: Yeah, sure.
Gary: Good. So how 'bout I show you around?
---
Pete: Hey, how ya doin'? You must be the new kid. I'm Pete. Pete Kowalski.
Jimmy: Jimmy Hopkins, and don't ask how I'm doin'. I've been here five minutes and already people want me dead. Even my parents didn't hate me this quickly.
Pete: Well, welcome to Bullworth. It's a dump.
Jimmy: Great. I've been expelled from anywhere halfway decent.
Gary: 'Yeah, I've been expelled from anywhere halfway decent 'cause I'm really bad.' Give up the tough-guy act, pal.
Jimmy: Hey, man, what's your problem?
Gary: Well, ADD primarily. But also life, my parents, this school, western civilization, but really, honestly, enough about me-- Oh, I see you've met the Dorm's mascot. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Femme-Boy, the girliest boy in school. Petey, haven't you got some imaginary friends to go annoy?
Pete: Why don't you leave me alone, Gary.
Gary: Ha. Look at you. 'Leave me alone, Gary. I'm really self-important now that I've finally hit puberty.' What's your problem? I'm just being nice to the new kid as he passes through Bullworth on his inevitable journey to prison.
Jimmy: Look, I gotta unpack. Would you guys mind getting outta here?
Gary: Oh, now look what you've done, Pete. Jimmy can't stand you already.
---
Gary: Feeding time at the zoo. Okay, here's the deal: Over there we got the Nerds. Of course they're complete social outcasts.
Jimmy: They look pretty harmless.
Gary: They're actually sneaky bastards. Their turf is the Library.
And those are the Preps. They're all money and condescending attitudes.
Jimmy: Yeah, massively inbred and completely brainless.
Gary: Very observant, Jimmy-boy.
Now over there are the Greasers. They think they're tough.
Jimmy: Or at least try to look tough.
Gary: Wouldn't advise messing with them. At least not yet. They hang by the Auto Shop.
And last but not least, the Jocks. These guys rule the school. Definitely avoid them.
Jimmy: Whatever, I'm not afraid of some dumb 'roid monkeys.
Gary: You'll learn.
[Bell rings]
Gary: Come on, let's go.
---
Edward Seymour II: You're here to learn, not to goof off. Get to class.
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